My Testimony: A Decade of His Faithfulness
“Once upon a time there was a little prince who lived on a planet that was scarcely any bigger than himself, and who had need of a friend…” (Antoine de Saint-Exupery, “The Little Prince”, as translated from French by Katherine Woods, chapter IV, p.16)
As a child, I was very lonely. I was not sure if it was due to my circumstances, time and chance, or personality. You see, I am an introvert by nature, and contradicting this is very uncomfortable since this would be out of my nature. That, and I am also melancholic, a nonconformist, and retrospective. Though those very close to me knew that I was also very silly. Unfortunately, there weren’t very many of them. I had taken elementary studies in a private school, and though my family wasn’t extremely poor, we were neither at all rich. And that was tough for a boy of my personality, to be surrounded with what seemed to be then elitists. So, then, I was nothing. And I felt so every day of my life. Hope came from the fact that I would be in a high school with financially lower class classmates, therefore I would fit right in. Though I had a few more people become close to me, I hesitated in calling them friends. No one really knew the sadness within me.
I had often asked God to let whatever it is He wants me to do on earth to be done with so I can be taken away from this world. My Quantum Leap mentality, as I named it much later, based on the TV show. I was very unhappy.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Relatively speaking, I was a decent kid. Never smoked. Never drank alcohol. Much less did drugs. Rarely hung around with the wrong crowd doing the wrong activities. Rarely in trouble. I had my academic honors and achievements. I had a character familiar to my peers and was at few times respected because of them. And by high school, I found quite a few women attracted to me. But… nonetheless, I was empty. My life was meaningless. I was very unhappy. I wanted to die.
Until about a decade ago. I was sitting at the back of the library with a blocmate I usually hung around with. No, we were rarely there to study (which is why we were at the back, not inside), but as freshmen, we saw it to be a neutral zone, unowned by the many fraternities and organizations in our University. My companion was strumming his guitar when a stranger, just a few months older than I, approached us and asked if we were busy. Interested in what the smiling stranger had to say, he spent several minutes sharing the Bible with us. Although my companion decided to drop out of the Bible Study to which the polite and friendly stranger eventually invited us to, I had already decided in my heart to continue. I had already wanted to study the Bible for quite a long time then, but my desire never materialized to actual steps. So, when the opportunity arose to study the Bible objectively, without the hitches of any religious underhanded surprises, I grabbed the chance. And it was a good call.
Through studying the Bible, I learned about someone who was to be all I really needed. Jesus, who paid the ultimate price to pay the penalty of my sins, to bring me out of the clutches of hell to the eternal heavens, became my Savior and Lord. But more importantly, He gave my life meaning. And He became my friend.
It’s been about a decade ago since I first met Him personally. And though I have been unfaithful many times, He has always been faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). And though I have failed Him so many times, He has always been there to fulfill His Words. Though I have left Him, fallen, sought out another, and disobeyed Him so many times, He was always there to take me back, even eager, so it seems, as the Father of the Prodigal Son. When I realize that I have hit rock bottom once again, He was always there.
And it’s been a whirlwind ride He has taken me. He has made me witness innumerable victories in my life, many I never dreamed of achieving before, a flight of fantasy, unbelievably done through me.
And He was always there for me. When nobody else was, He was. When everybody has left me, He was still there. When everybody has replaced me, He was still there.
And I look onward, unaware of what the next decade will bring me. For now, I write, hoping that these writings will benefit at least one soul. And if it has, then it has already done its job. For if I wonder why God touched my life, such a meaningless and miniscule life it was, then I see abounding and greatly faithful love for me, and I see the value of a single life. So then is your life. As He has been my best friend, so He can be yours. And the joy of my friendship with Him will be yours too. And I suppose that’s the simple message of my testimony. I have no flashy instances, no miraculous feats of wonder, no extraordinary situations… just a boy, seeking a friend, who would always be faithful, no matter how many times he failed Him.
So I sing Amy Grant’s song… “That’s why I call you Savior, That’s why I call you friend. ‘Cause you gave me hope, when nobody gave me a prayer.” And another, “What a difference you’ve made in my life… ‘cause you gave life a meaning, that’s why I joined the singing, that’s why I want to spread the news.” And a third, my favorite of hers, Lover of My Soul, “Tender and sweet, as strong as my need. I know the voice; I know the touch, Lover of my soul.”
Not to forget my favorite song of all, Joy of My Desire, whose last line is: “There will never be a friend as dear to me as You.”
And I conclude this with a line from a song from Barbie Almalbis (of Barbie’s Cradle): “All I need is God.”
- A. L. E. -
(Originally written: 2004, November 5, 7:36 pm)
As a child, I was very lonely. I was not sure if it was due to my circumstances, time and chance, or personality. You see, I am an introvert by nature, and contradicting this is very uncomfortable since this would be out of my nature. That, and I am also melancholic, a nonconformist, and retrospective. Though those very close to me knew that I was also very silly. Unfortunately, there weren’t very many of them. I had taken elementary studies in a private school, and though my family wasn’t extremely poor, we were neither at all rich. And that was tough for a boy of my personality, to be surrounded with what seemed to be then elitists. So, then, I was nothing. And I felt so every day of my life. Hope came from the fact that I would be in a high school with financially lower class classmates, therefore I would fit right in. Though I had a few more people become close to me, I hesitated in calling them friends. No one really knew the sadness within me.
I had often asked God to let whatever it is He wants me to do on earth to be done with so I can be taken away from this world. My Quantum Leap mentality, as I named it much later, based on the TV show. I was very unhappy.
Now, don’t get me wrong. Relatively speaking, I was a decent kid. Never smoked. Never drank alcohol. Much less did drugs. Rarely hung around with the wrong crowd doing the wrong activities. Rarely in trouble. I had my academic honors and achievements. I had a character familiar to my peers and was at few times respected because of them. And by high school, I found quite a few women attracted to me. But… nonetheless, I was empty. My life was meaningless. I was very unhappy. I wanted to die.
Until about a decade ago. I was sitting at the back of the library with a blocmate I usually hung around with. No, we were rarely there to study (which is why we were at the back, not inside), but as freshmen, we saw it to be a neutral zone, unowned by the many fraternities and organizations in our University. My companion was strumming his guitar when a stranger, just a few months older than I, approached us and asked if we were busy. Interested in what the smiling stranger had to say, he spent several minutes sharing the Bible with us. Although my companion decided to drop out of the Bible Study to which the polite and friendly stranger eventually invited us to, I had already decided in my heart to continue. I had already wanted to study the Bible for quite a long time then, but my desire never materialized to actual steps. So, when the opportunity arose to study the Bible objectively, without the hitches of any religious underhanded surprises, I grabbed the chance. And it was a good call.
Through studying the Bible, I learned about someone who was to be all I really needed. Jesus, who paid the ultimate price to pay the penalty of my sins, to bring me out of the clutches of hell to the eternal heavens, became my Savior and Lord. But more importantly, He gave my life meaning. And He became my friend.
It’s been about a decade ago since I first met Him personally. And though I have been unfaithful many times, He has always been faithful (2 Timothy 2:13). And though I have failed Him so many times, He has always been there to fulfill His Words. Though I have left Him, fallen, sought out another, and disobeyed Him so many times, He was always there to take me back, even eager, so it seems, as the Father of the Prodigal Son. When I realize that I have hit rock bottom once again, He was always there.
And it’s been a whirlwind ride He has taken me. He has made me witness innumerable victories in my life, many I never dreamed of achieving before, a flight of fantasy, unbelievably done through me.
And He was always there for me. When nobody else was, He was. When everybody has left me, He was still there. When everybody has replaced me, He was still there.
And I look onward, unaware of what the next decade will bring me. For now, I write, hoping that these writings will benefit at least one soul. And if it has, then it has already done its job. For if I wonder why God touched my life, such a meaningless and miniscule life it was, then I see abounding and greatly faithful love for me, and I see the value of a single life. So then is your life. As He has been my best friend, so He can be yours. And the joy of my friendship with Him will be yours too. And I suppose that’s the simple message of my testimony. I have no flashy instances, no miraculous feats of wonder, no extraordinary situations… just a boy, seeking a friend, who would always be faithful, no matter how many times he failed Him.
So I sing Amy Grant’s song… “That’s why I call you Savior, That’s why I call you friend. ‘Cause you gave me hope, when nobody gave me a prayer.” And another, “What a difference you’ve made in my life… ‘cause you gave life a meaning, that’s why I joined the singing, that’s why I want to spread the news.” And a third, my favorite of hers, Lover of My Soul, “Tender and sweet, as strong as my need. I know the voice; I know the touch, Lover of my soul.”
Not to forget my favorite song of all, Joy of My Desire, whose last line is: “There will never be a friend as dear to me as You.”
And I conclude this with a line from a song from Barbie Almalbis (of Barbie’s Cradle): “All I need is God.”
- A. L. E. -
(Originally written: 2004, November 5, 7:36 pm)
